


Rubatosis

by aaronminyxrd



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4833788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaronminyxrd/pseuds/aaronminyxrd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>rubatosis<br/>n. the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rubatosis

  **KENMA:**

“What does shorty want this time?” Kuroo asked him, his eyebrow raised.

Kenma shrugged in response as he read Hinata’s message, remaining impassive.

 

**From: Shouyou**

**Subject: Volleyball**

Heyyooo. How r u? How was practice???

 

Kuroo looked over Kenma’s shoulder, smirking slightly as he watched his friend type out his reply.

 

**To: Shouyou**

**RE: Volleyball**

It was okay, I guess; Nothing out of the ordinary. And I’m fine, thanks. You?

 

“Stop trying to act so cool, Kenma.” Kuroo commented chirpily. “Why is it so hard for you to admit that you had fun at practice?”

“Because I didn’t.” he answered, expressionless as they continued their walk home.

“Whatever you say~” was the only thing he decided to say of the matter.

Kenma let out a quiet sigh, but he knew his answer to Kuroo wasn’t entirely true. He remembered Shouyou’s promise to one day make him say volleyball was fun, along with his vow of one day beating him too. Ever since then, he had been receiving frequent messages from the boy, often asking him about his day and his practices in an attempt to get him more hyped about the sport. Although he would never admit it, Kenma always looked forward to the daily messages (even though it took him some time to get used to the way Hinata typed; it was as if he had to use all the slang under the sun), and often found himself smiling softly at them despite his best efforts not to. He still didn’t think volleyball--or anything in particular--was fun, but he couldn’t help but acknowledge that he was more pumped up about practice and matches, even if it was just a little.

 “---so yeah, I’ll see you at practice tomorrow!”

Lost in thought for so long, he hadn’t even realized that Kuroo was speaking to him until then. “I’ll see you.”

“Say hi to Hinata for me!” he teased, and the two of them soon parted ways.

*****

“I’m home!” Kenma announced, waving to his mother before trudging up the stairs and into his room. He immediately flopped down onto his bed after changing into an old shirt and gray pyjama trousers, savoring the sweet smell of his pillow. Lazily, he opened his eyes, staring at his school bag, knowing that he had a lot of assignments to complete for the next day. _Well, just a couple of minutes wouldn’t hurt…_

Happily, Kenma began to drift off to sleep, letting his body sink further into the sheets.

_Bzzzttt….Bzzzttt…._

Upon hearing the sound, Kenma’s face took on a sour expression, and he immediately covered his ears, refusing to be woken up so soon.

_Bzzzttt…..Bzzzttt…._

“Noooo…” he whined, as his phone continued to buzz. “Dammit, Shouyou, why now?” Grudgingly, he felt around and brought the phone up to his face, squinting slightly at the sudden brightness.

 

**From: Shouyou**

**Subject: This is so late**

Ahhh this reply is so late!!! Srry Kenma, Daichi-san treated us to meat buns and I didn’t c ur message until i got home. I’m also good, thanks!! U should try to enjoy urself more.

 

_Of course it was because of the meat buns._

 

**To: Shouyou**

**RE: This is so late**

It’s fine; don’t worry about it.

 

Kenma frowned slightly after he sent his reply. A part of him wanted to keep the conversation going, but he wasn’t really sure how to. The other part of him just wanted some sleep. He wondered whether or not he should add on to his previous message, but that question was soon answered as he felt his phone vibrate once more.

 

**From: Shouyou**

**Subject: I was wondering**

Hey can I call u???

 

His eyes widened immediately at the request, and he could feel a bit of warmth rush to his cheeks. Sure, the two talked almost everyday, but they had never actually called each other before. Kenma preferred to message anyway; that way, he had more time to come up with an answer. He was pretty sure that if Hinata would ask him a question during the call, the poor guy would have to endure a bit of awkward silence before he could say anything. And yet, despite his doubts, he found himself sending a ‘sure’. His phone rang seconds later, and he was met with the booming voice of Hinata Shouyou.

“Hi, Kenma!!!!”

It was only then when Kenma realized how long it had been since he had actually heard the orange-haired male’s voice, and he found himself smiling again at the sound.

“Kenma? You there?”

“Oh, yeah. Why’d you call?” _What a way to start off a conversation._

“Just wanted to talk. Also, our conversations are pretty short, even if we do talk most of the time, so I figured I could call and see where it goes.”

“Oh.”

“And besides, I like talking to you.”

“O-Oh.” At this point, Kenma felt as if his eyes would pop out of their sockets, and he hid himself under the sheets, as if it would help get rid of his jumbled up emotions. “How was practice?” he asked hastily, hoping to remove the awkward tension he brought upon himself.

“Mmm, it was as fun as always. I pissed off Kageyama at the beginning by accidentally serving a ball to the back of his head again , though, so he refused to toss to me until the matter was resolved-”

Kenma listened to his ramblings and stories about volleyball, school, and his sister, Natsu. Eventually, his rambles died down, and he asked Kenma how his practice went.

“I already told you. It was fine.” he answered.

“Well, yeah, but what about details?”

“Details?”

“Well, yeah! I kind of realized that whenever we talk, I always end up telling stories and I don’t really give you much time to talk about yourself.”

“Oh, it’s alright. It’s not like I enjoy talking about myself.”

“Don’t be like that! You’re awesome!”

 _Stop doing that._ “Thanks?”

“Oh, I know! I bought ‘Twilight Princess’ recently. You’ve played it before, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And it came with ‘Skyward Sword’ too. Which one should I try out first?”

“Those are my two favorite Zelda games. _Please_ don’t make me choose.”

“Sorry, but you’re going to have to. Seriously, though, Zelda should try another color besides green sometime.”

“Fine then, start with--wait, what did you just say?”

“I was kidding!!”

The conversation went on for another hour or so, with them talking about the Zelda franchise, along with other things that they were both interested in. Somehow, though, it always ended up going back to volleyball.

“It’s getting pretty late, so I should probably go. It was really nice talking to you, though. We should do this more often.”

“We always talk.”

“I meant this calling thing.”

“Oh.”

“And if you ever find yourself in Miyagi, feel free to come over! I’ll send you my address in a bit. Anyway, goodnight, Kenma.”

“Night, Shouyou.”

“Try to have fun tomorrow!” and with that, the call ended.

Kenma put his phone down and went over to his study table, taking out the assignments he should have done long ago. He couldn’t quite concentrate on them, though, as his mind continued to replay the conversation that ended just a few minutes ago.

_‘I like talking to you.’_

_‘Don’t be like that! You’re awesome!’_

_‘We should do this more often. This calling thing.’_

_‘Feel free to come over!’_

Kenma put his pencil down and ran his hands through his hair before burying his face in them. He was usually so calm and collected, often not letting things bother him, but things seemed to be different now. Ever since he met Shouyou, he began to slowly lose that collectiveness, especially when it came to the small crow. He had always found him interesting, but that feeling of curiosity when they first met was long gone; this feeling was something else entirely, but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know, either.

He sighed before deciding to just sleep off whatever feelings he had at the moment, burying himself in the sheets once more. “Maybe it’ll be gone by tomorrow…” he grumbled before closing his eyes. He had been saying that for a while now.

 

 **At the start of practice the next day,** Coach Nekomata and Naoi had called the team over, claiming they had exciting news. Kuroo was also beside them, and he had a playful gleam in his eyes, his gaze directed exactly at Kenma.

“Last time, Karasuno came to Tokyo for an Excursion, but now, we, Nekoma, are going to Miyagi!”

Kuroo’s smirk was evident at this point, and he had to do his best to stifle his laughter. Kenma just sat there, feigning a calm expression despite what he was feeling on the inside. Truthfully, he felt somewhat excited.

“Hey, Kenma,” Taketora started, nudging him. “You can finally visit your boyfriend.”

“We’re just friends.” was all Kenma replied, despite the knowing stares and laughter his teammates gave him. Kuroo just rolled his eyes.

 

**HINATA:**

“Gather around everyone!” Ukai exclaimed. “We have some pretty exciting news! I’ll let your Captains over here do the honors.”

Daichi and Sugawara stepped up, grinning from ear to ear. “Last time, we were Tokyo’s visitors. Now, Nekoma will be Miyagi’s.”

“Whooaaa!!!”Hinata exclaimed, his eyes bright with excitement as he began to jump up and down with Tanaka and Nishinoya. “That means Kenma’s coming!”

“Wooo!!!” Tanaka joined in with Hinata. “Hinata’s boyfriend’s gonna visit!”

Upon hearing that comment, Hinata stopped jumping and immediately turned scarlet. “We’re just friends!”

“Eh? But Taketora told me otherwise. I mean, you two always text, and you never shut up about the guy-”

“Well he told you wrong!” he yelled, becoming flustered.

“Let’s just start practice…” Daichi told them.

“Dumbass Hinata. He’s not just a dumbass, but a _dense_ dumbass. If he doesn’t do anything about it, nothing is going to happen.” Kageyama murmured to Sugawara. Hinata would have fought back, but he knew that looking like a tomato wouldn’t exactly help his argument.

*****

As soon as practice was over, Hinata changed, fetched his bike, and took out his phone, starting the routine of asking Kenma how his day and practice was, hoping one day to get a “I had fun” out of him, but was surprised to find his phone vibrating in his hand with a message from Kenma. Hinata’s eyes widened. _He never messages first._

 

**From: Kenma**

**Subject: Excursion**

Have you heard the news? We’ll be in Miyagi in a week.

 

**To: Kenma**

**RE: Excursion**

  Yh!! I’m super excited! Remember what I said about coming over! How was practice??

 

**From: Kenma**

**RE: Excursion**

It was nothing, really. Just the usual. You?

           

Hinata couldn’t help but frown at his response. He should have been used to it by now, but he still found himself disappointed that he never got a response about volleyball aside from  the likes of “it was fine” from Kenma.

 

**To: Kenma**

**RE: Excursion**

  Exciting as always. I have to head home. I’ll call u later k?      

 

**From: Kenma**

**RE: Excursion**

Sure.

 

That one word easily made Hinata smile again as he remembered their conversation the night before as he made his way home, the wind ruffling his already scruffy hair. Though making Kenma excited about volleyball was still a _long_ work in progress, he was able to make him open up more about other things. Little by little, he was getting through to him, and that was enough for now. _Hopefully the Excursion can change things even more…_

 

 

 

 **The week soon passed by,** and Hinata counted down the hours of Nekoma’s arrival. He was sitting in the living room playing ‘Twilight Princess’ as he waited for his mother and sister to return from the supermarket, smiling at the memory of Kenma geeking out once he asked him which one he should play first again. The first time they met, he had merely disregarded the game on his phone as a thing to kill time, but the Zelda franchise was something else entirely.

 

_“Both of those games will break you.” Kenma warned. He then proceeded to rant about how the beautifully crafted the games were, and that the relationship developments in both were astounding._

_  
“You can stop now.” Hinata had told him after a while, laughing shortly after. “I’ll start with TP.” he decided, since he was curious as to what role Midna played in the story._

He was so lost in thought that he stupidly made Wolf Link fall into the pool of pink fog, causing him to start from the beginning. “Ahh ddaammiittt!” Hinata yelled in frustration. He was about to continue before he heard someone knocking on the door.

“Stupid pink fog…” he murmured on his way to the door. “Stupid Kenma for being adorable and making me think of him.” Immediately, he stopped dead in his tracks in order to slap himself multiple times. Though he tried to never think about it, he always knew there was _something_ between him and Kenma; some sort of unspoken tension between the two, but as time continued to pass, and their relationship grew stronger, so did his feelings, and he always found himself thinking about it despite himself. His face scrunched up at his silent confession, and was soon brought back to reality by the knocking on the door.

“Sorry!” he yelled, finally managing to open the door, running his hands through his hair sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to take so--Kenma?!” Hinata felt like fainting from shock. _Here? Already? Now?! But I’m a mess! I haven’t even showered yet for fuck’s sake!_

“Hi, Shouyou.” the setter casually spoke, raising his hand in greeting.

 

**KENMA:**

Kenma watched with his usual blank expression as Shouyou turned beet red as he struggled to regain his composure before telling him to come in, murmuring something about how he could have called before deciding to randomly show up.

“What happened to _‘feel free to come over!’_?” Kenma asked as he sat on the couch.

“No, no!” Hinata exclaimed, waving his arms around.  “I love that you’re here, but I’m a mess, the house is a mess, and I thought you guys wouldn’t be here until tonight…”

Kenma shrugged. “We left a bit earlier than we had planned,” he explained. “And what are you worried about? I think you and the house are perfect..ly fine.” he added the last part hastily, cursing himself hoping the other boy would remain oblivious. He stole a quick glance, and his fears were assuaged as he was still fiddling with his hair and clothes, as if he were trying to make himself more presentable. Little did Hinata know that seeing him with his usual wild hair (Kenma knew nothing would be able to tame that boy’s locks, no matter how much he tried), old shirt, and gym shorts made him seem more endearing than he already was. He hurriedly looked away as Hinata turned to face him, not wanting to get caught staring.

“You still could have messaged me..” he pouted.

Kenma said nothing. He had decided to not inform Shouyou in the hopes of surprising him, and with the reaction he got, he had no regrets.

Seeing that he would get nothing else out of Kenma about the matter, he pointed to the paused game on the TV. “I started TP,” he told him shyly. “I’m not all that great at it, though; I keep dying.”

“I can see that,” he replied bluntly, seeing as Wolf Link only had a heart left to spare. “Maybe I can help.”

*****

“ _No._ ” Kenma repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time. “You need to kill the three of them at the same time. All you have to do is long-press B. If you can’t do that, then kill one of them first before proceeding to kill the remaining two. That way, you won’t have to go through the shit of them being resurrected.”

“I’m trying!”

“If you’re having a hard time, I can show you how to do it just once. I have to leave soon, so I might as well show you now.”

“But _I_ want to be able to accomplish the feat of defeating these shadow bastards! And boo you for having to leave so soon.”

In the midst of their little argument, they didn’t notice the front door open until someone called out to them. “Nii-ssaannn!”

Hinata let out a grunt as a little girl with bright, orange hair immediately jumped on him, and Kenma couldn’t help but let out a small smile at the sight. _They’re definitely related._

“I’m home now, so we can play jump rope!” she squealed happily. The older boy did his best to remain alive in the game while his sister was suffocating him, but the efforts were futile as the last heart was soon taken away.

“Natsu! Look what you did! It took me forever to kill them!” At this point, it looked like the two siblings would soon go at it, but the advances were immediately stopped as a woman with dark hair appeared, arms akimbo. However, before she could say anything, her gaze fell on Kenma.

The setter was taken aback on how much she resembled Shouyou. Despite her sable brown, wavy hair and slightly darker complexion, everything else could have been considered the same; the way she presented herself with a playful, yet intimidating air, the way her eyes shone, and _especially_ the way she gave him a welcoming, sideways smile. “You must be Kozume-kun.”

“Hello..” he tried, unable to properly look her in the eyes.

He could still sense her beaming down at him, even she was addressing her two children. “Natsu, don’t pull your brother’s hair! Shouyou, help me set the ingredients so Kozume-kun can stay for dinner.”

“Ah, that won’t be necessary..” he started.

“Nonsense! We’d love to have you.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s getting late and my team will be looking for me soon...”

Her saddened expression guilted him, but it was true that the sun had gone down long ago, and if he didn’t show up soon, questions would be asked. “Oh, alright, but you have to promise me to have dinner some other time, okay? I love meeting Shouyou’s friends, and he talks about you quite a bit-”

“I’ll walk him to the door!” Hinata suddenly yelled, gently prying Natsu off him and dragging Kenma along before his mother could say anything more.

“Sorry about that..” Hinata told him once they were outside, rubbing the back of his head bashfully.

“It’s alright,” Kenma assured the boy, giving him one of his rare, genuine smiles. “Your family seems really nice.”

“I personally think that they’re too nice at times.” Hinata laughed.

“Tell your mom that I’ll tell you tomorrow when I can come over for that dinner. You two really look alike.”

“Alright! She’ll be super stoked! And do we? I’ve never really noticed. Most people say I look like my dad.”

“That’s probably because of the hair,” Kenma realized, recalling a family picture he had seen on the TV stand.

“Huh, I guess so. He’s overseas most of the time, though, so it’s not like I have time to compare and contrast.” Hinata said the last part quietly, and Kenma frowned slightly at the bitterness in his voice, but Hinata shook it off quickly, going back to his usually bubbly persona. Kenma wondered to himself if that was the reason he was even more protective of his sister; he was her brother, yes, but in a way, Hinata wanted to also be somewhat of a "father figure"; something he wasn't able to have.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Hinata asked him.

"I'll be with you all day; the excursion, remember?"

"Oh, right! I almost forgot, haha."

"Anyway, I really do have to go. I'll call you later. Goodnight, Shouyou. " Kenma saying the last part even shocked himself, and he dug his hands into his pockets after waving goodbye. It may have been the chill in the air, but he thought that he saw a tinge of pink sweep across Hinata’s cheeks as he quietly mumbled a reply.

“Goodnight, Kenma.”

 

**HINATA:**

            **The next few days** of the excursion passed by in a blur, with Karasuno managing to win quite a few matches against their opponents, but they still have yet to beat Nekoma, and Hinata expressed his frustrations to Kenma on their way to his house for the promised dinner.

“I don’t get it! We’ve played against you guys so many times, but nothing!”

“You’re getting there,” Kenma assured him. “Your serves are less crappy, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that they still are; keep practicing.”

“Thanks…?”

Soon, they reached their destination, and Hinata called out to announce that he was home along with Kenma.

“Kenma nii-saaannnn!!!” Natsu soon screamed, jumping up and down in excitement in front of him as Kenma awkwardly patted her head, and Hinata chuckled softly at how Kenma decided to show affection. The second time Kenma had come over, Natsu was all over him, asking him questions, begging him to play jump rope and give her piggy back rides. Soon enough, he had gained her approval, and she treated him like another brother.

His mother soon appeared, grinning at the three of them. “Don’t let the food wait!”

*****

Dinner went by smoothly enough, although it did have some close calls.

_“Kenma nii-san, do you have a girlfriend?” Natsu asked innocently enough, but Hinata found himself choking on his own spit at the question._

_“No, why?”_

_“For some reason, Shouyou worr-”_

_“Can you pass me the salt, please?” he had blurted out._

 

_“So, Kenma, how’s school?” she had casually asked. He regretted the day the two had hit it off._

_“Pretty good.”_

_“Ah, Shouyou always gushes about how inte-” Alert. Alert. Alert._

_“Mom, Natsu has to go.”_

_“Eh? No I-”_

_“Yes, you do. Mom,_ she has to go. _”_

 

Oh, the embarrassment he had to endure.

Now, he and Kenma had decided to take a walk around the town, seeing as it would soon be his last day in Miyagi. “Let’s get some meat buns!”

“Shouyou, we just ate.”

“Then think of it as dessert!” he said enthusiastically, grabbing Kenma’s jacket sleeve in order to drag him along without protest.

The two decided to eat their meat buns outside in order to have some warmth as the night air began to get colder. They continued to walk around, passing brightly lit shops as they went window shopping, grinning whenever he would be able to make Kenma smile, admiring the way the moon made his presence seem even brighter, setting alight his two-tone hair and facial features.

“We should be heading back.” Kenma commented as some of the shops began to close.

Hinata frowned, not wanting to go home just yet, but he knew Kenma was right. As cliche as it sounded, he wanted this night to last forever; it would be a while until they saw each other in person again, and when he turned to the setter to agree, he spotted some crumbs from the meat bun from earlier on his mouth. He suddenly remembered Kageyama’s words, and he found himself leaning up towards Kenma’s lips.

_“If he doesn’t do anything about it, nothing is going to happen.”_

Soon enough, Kenma’s soft lips were on his own, and he closed his eyes, afraid of what he would witness if they were open, and he hurriedly pulled back, his face turning into varying shades of red.

“Y-You..uh..you had crumbs..and, uh..so..” he stuttered as he tried to explain, but he was soon cut off as clicks and flashes suddenly appeared from all around them.

“ _I fucking knew it!_ Hell, we _all_ knew it!”

“Kuroo?!” the two of them exclaimed in unison. Kenma’s face turned into a light shade of pink, and Hinata covered his mouth in embarrassment as he realized that Kuroo---along with everyone else in both Nekoma _and_ Karasuno--- had witnessed what had just happened. “What are you all _doing_ here?”

“Kageyama saw you guys walking around and called us.”

Hinata found Kageyama in the crowd and shot him a death glare, to which he only smirked to in return, his midnight blue eyes shining maliciously.

“Well, we got what we wanted, so we’ll be going now! _Have fun~_ ” Kuroo chirped.

“Just friends, _my ass_.” Tanaka and Taketora snorted as they followed Kuroo, the rest of the two teams sending approving glances in their way before they all finally filed out.

Hinata groaned. _This is going to be a long walk home._

 

**KENMA:**

Kenma had insisted on walking Shouyou home despite his protests, arguing that after everything he had done for him today he at least deserved to be walked home in return.

“There are bad people out there.”

“I know that!”

However, most of the walk was spent in silence, with Hinata avoiding any physical and eye contact with Kenma.  To be fair, the two of them had a lot to think about. What had that been, mere minutes ago? _Hinata Shouyou had kissed him,_ and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

He always knew there was _something_ developing within him, a sort of feeling he had always felt the need to push back, but with the sudden action the smaller boy had taken, it was threatening to burst out yet again, and Kuroo’s words from long ago came back to him from when he was having a rough time at one of their practices.

 

_“Just stop overthinking everything, Kenma. Look, I’m not one to do this often, but I need you to understand that sometimes just taking a risk and going with something you know you feel strongly about is enough. You are Nekoma’s brain, but you are also your own person. Some things just cannot be explained, and instead of worrying about the outcome all the time, why not try to see what you can make of it?”_

 

With his words burning in his mind, the two soon found themselves back in front of Hinata’s house, the orange haired-male standing awkwardly in front of him. “Listen, Kenma-mph!”

His words were cut short as Kenma confidently crushed their lips together, his hands around Hinata’s waist as he returned the kiss, and though it was sloppy and inexperienced, it felt as if their mouths were moving perfectly in sync, and he could feel the shorter boy smiling through it, his hands engulfed in Kenma’s hair, the tips of his toes raised ever so slightly.

Too soon, they broke apart, breathing heavily as their foreheads touched, and Kenma let out a loud, genuine laugh, which seemed to surprise Hinata.

“Hey, Shouyou?”

“Yeah?”

“I...I had fun.”  
           

 

**Author's Note:**

> That was one hell of a ride  
> They're such dorks omf  
> This was basically a bunch of headcanons stringed together to make a one shot hahaha
> 
> come scream with me on tumblr!  
> http://aaronminyxrd.tumblr.com/


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